Don’t Lose your Creative Self. #WinterABC 2021

It’s the third day of the Winter ABC bloggers challenge, I’ve been able to read through most of the blog posts on other bloggers’ site and trust me, I have read unique beautiful and amazing stuff.

There is just so much talent in y’all writers that have taken on this challenge. I can’t put all your creativity into words, I’m honoured to be able to access such great intellect.

I’m sure you’ve heard about other writers trying to copy and paste other people’s work “plagiarism” but I know you are unique and talented.

From the blog posts I’ve read in the past two days, I’m confident in y’all that you’ll make with just that creativity and it’s enough to get you places.

I’d love to encourage you to stick to the fun most of you express through your writing and that’s what makes you stand out. It makes you different.

See how we are over 200 bloggers in this, with different Site |Blog names 😂😂, yeah that’s what I’m talking about. We wrote different stuff with a different vibrance and expression and articulation. Stick to that. Stay you.

For this Winter ABC challenge, I’d love to express myself even more. Tap into that gentle, kinda like a sailer who is sailing steadily and enjoying the waves in the sea. Be the sailor and enough this challenge.

Creativity,”Emotional Motivational Phase.” WinterABC 2021 Challenge.

The State of Writing.
It’s a bit weird to me that I find it hard to write about something unique unless I’m in pain or despair. There’s a way these embodiments and emotions just stir up in me that my creative self is pushed to pin down the pain and discomfort, or maybe the thought that lingers in my mind.

I do write in any state because sometimes I have course works to do and hand in which won’t wait for me to tap into the creative mood. I’m pursuing a bachelor’s in journalism and communication which entails all the inevitable writing.

I’ve heard different writers share how they come up with their ideas that we read about and believe me, I’m not even close to being or trying their methods of creativity.

One told me, He writes down whatever the mind draws his attention to. I’m like wow, that is interesting. Personally, unless it’s an excerpt, I wouldn’t even bother looking for a notebook to write it down.

I have a tutor Shadray,( https://t.co/ZhEPnKnnh7My @AfroBloggers #WinterABC20 ) he advises doing the same. He’s been of great importance to me and my writing journey.

The thing with me is that I’m always looking for comfort 🤣🤣🤣 to write. I don’t know if I’m the only one struggling with this one or?

My Emotions are a great deal for me when it comes to writing. Sometimes it’s just the right music play catalogue that gets to bring out all the memories and thought.

I don’t know if creative writers are going through this whole “Emotional Motivational Phase,” to have them come up with something to write about.

For me, it’s just triggers of emotion and I will jot down beautiful stuff within hours. I wouldn’t mind tapping into different creative styles of stirring endless possibilities for me to write.

This is something part of humans. There’s a way our emotions are a consciously affect our mood and state of mind.

Taking On the Winter ABC blogging challenge 2021

It’s a slow Tuesday for me. Woke up grateful just like any other normal day and went about my business albeit for the first time I didn’t check my social media something I’d decided to take on as a challenge unless I’m done with whatever I’m supposed to do I won’t touch my phone.

My chores took a few hours and I was done by midday and that’s when I decided to check my social media, damn. My eyes landed on disturbing images of the General Katumba Wamala’s attempted assassination scene. A trail of blood, his daughter and body were assassinated and died on spot, their bodies were lying there lifeless. These images still replay in mind.
My deepest condolences to the General’s family and a quick recovery to Him

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I’ve gathered my courage and strength to jot down this while my day is a bit slow and sad, I’m here to remind you that I will be participating in this year’s blogging challenge. I believe it is going to help me improve my writing skills and experience in this case.

To all the bloggers taking on the challenge, kudos I wish you nothing you all the best.

May the challenge begin.

Out To Be Kind.

Helloooooo!!! It’s me again, sounds like one of my ex’s rants whenever we bumped into each other at the supermarket. We stayed in the same neighbourhood it was an avoidable. This is a story for another day.

One of my leaders said,”In life, somethings are taught while others are caught. ” I guess I’ve been able to catch afew lessons as I do life. These have taught me to go out of the way, from my comfort zone , from my introversion to reach out and step out. They’re quite a number, I’ll get to share whenever romanticism hits me.

“Go out and be Kind.” It’s so sad that we’ve monetarised good deeds. That whenever someone speaks of kindness all that rings in our ears is “money”. It might be true or false. I’m a firm believer that money plays a big role in our lives and I can atest to that but money shouldn’t replace our humanness. There’s that ignition in us that is a part of our being.

Being kind is something I have decided to walk with and do life. For me it doesn’t matter how I’ve been treated before, I just want to see things different because there’s healing in there. An explainable feeling of satisfaction whenever you do something nice and you see the other person happy.

Whenever I think of how mean people have been to and how mean I’ve been before, whenever I leave my house, I purpose to be kind. I make sure I instil it in my mind and being.

Being kind doesn’t necessarily mean giving out money to a street beggar or buying clothes for the needy. These are kind and loving deeds but half the time, they’ve pushed us to thinking we need money to be kind.

Kindness starts with our speech, what comes out of my mouth whenever a taxi conductor calls me “masoo ana” (meaning four eyed) because I’m wearing glasses. Choosing the right words to reply him is what kindness is about.

Kindness is how you treat your askeri( gate man) whether at home, school or workplace. A humble good morning is kindness.

Kindness is how respond to incidents e.g when another driver scratches off your car while in traffic jam. I don’t mean you let them go freely and that’s entirely up to you but how do you approach them? What you have to say at that moment is what kindness is about.

Kindness is simply telling your lecturer, “Thank You for today’s class.” These are the words that push him/her to show up regardless.

There are so many small things that we can all do to accord kindness back to life, the small things that won’t cost you money but mean alot .

I encourage us all, to go and be kind. Kind in deed and speech. God calls us to be kind.

Fighting A million hands.

You don’t understand
The struggle I live
As I walk, talk, even laugh
& pretend to be just as you are.
But behind the warm smile
The eyes reveal the focus
deep within.

Not on life, not on breath,
But on fighting
A million hands
That pull, drap, rip & slaughter
The little light that shines
& beckons me on,
All in my head!

Courtesy photo

Their legion shouting with might,
That looking behind is inevitable!

But my strentgh
Is greater than a thousand and one,
The thousand, slightly out numbered
By the spark of hope that flickers.

One step at a time, until
They are dragged behind
By my might & light
After all,
That’s all it takes!

…Sympathy thirst.

Life’s trials always put us in situations where we either hate ourselves more or love we become along the way. Surprisingly,a new version of you is reflected, in a mirror- as time goes by.

This is how we begin to evolve, from status- a belonging that we believe brings satisfaction, yet half the time we’re different people fighting or running away from our own demons. What defines us?

The hard times, frustration, betrayal and disappointments contribute to how do life; in particular, because we’ve sobbed enough,that our inner most unseen being is defined by pain.

Waves often draw us to the shores, thinking we’ve been sieved- a filter that we long for. Could be empathy or maybe sympathy, because we give it we’re subjected to a demand of the same measure. Cries to the deaf.

When hard times knock at our doors, we gamble and toil thinking people owe us “sympathy” sadly, we are just thirsty for sympathy.

Courtesy photo.

The battles that we fight in our minds, make us servants of our being, ah… and yet we’re supposed to be masters of our own .

The imperfections, a thick skin that’s torn apart by flaws that nurture who we become, how we turn out and who we decided-to be, a sailor’s tale.

The discovery is self awareness from the echoes of life and the thoughts that build up in our little space, the brain. Events and memories, the waves that we soar, these mould us.

Life can only be discovered at the extremes, it’s after you’ve done the things that don’t matter that you realise what matters in life.

Half the time, this is how we choose our associates, who we cringe on. Not only for the agreements, but for the belonging- maybe they’ve felt the same heat in their shoes, we tend to trust them because they know how tight their shoe laces should be.

“You can only be trusted to have an opinion on something you have ever had or been through before.”

Life is a trail… we are often connecting the dots.

BEFORE YOU MAKE THE VOWS, YOU OUGHT TO KNOW THIS.

Here’s what you should know before making the vows. Getting married is not something that you just wake one morning and decide on, no! It’s not an emotional decision taken on one of the days when you’re feeling happy or sweet about your relationship.

Marriage is undoubtedly a serious matter that requires alot of thinking;
Your expectations. You’ve probably spent a couple of years together while dating and along the way your relationship got boring, you managed to reignite it again. From such experiences you should be able to draw and examin yourself of such situations if they come up. It will require you alot of effort to make things workout. It will become a lifetime job that you have to wake upto for the rest of your life.

Your partner’s background. In marriage, such things like childhood trauma, traditions, beliefs and values will always resurface. You could know your partner well, how about their family and past experiences? How was it when growing up? Having a reality of such facts will help you prepare and be realistic. A deep level of trust must be established. Understanding is key for both of you.

Values. It is advisable that love shouldn’t be the only thing we consider while getting married. Marriage is not a feeling driven course, it’s a lifetime investment. Having two different people come together, agree on starting a family takes quite alot. Look at your values from religion.

Courtesy photo

“Of course there are people who carry the name of religion but don’t really live by it. These ones can marry anyone because they’ll go with the flow. They don’t belong to any faith; it’s only a cloak they wear.

Beliefs, culture and even politics. You don’t have to always agree on these things though you must be aware of them to avoid surprises. It’s part of the foundations of a successful home, learning to respect what don’t believe in yet aware of.
The way you’ll raise your children. From the way you were both raised has a great impact on how you’d want your kids to be groomed. Your views on raising kids really matter. How to discipline and guide them. You must agree on these things. When couples start having kids, things change totally.
Your dreams,goals and careers. It is very important that you make such issues known to each other prior to marriage.

Make them clear that they’re on your fingertips, decide on how you both can make ends meet. If your partner is willing to support you during your pursuit of your dreams. It’s agood way to establish possible growth together, create generational wealth. Know what your partner is passionate about.

Managing Finances. Money matters are among the causes of conflicts in marriage, they align to many things like decision making, power, control and trust. You could go through something like a family emergency. It’s important to discuss how you’ll cope with sich scenarios.

Agree on source security, how will both of you keep your sources, who takes care of expenses incase of mortgage and loans. These discussions will save you from alot of potential conflicts. If you existing debts, what’s going to be your pay plan?
Getting married should be a thought-through decision that’s not made only when you’re happy about your relationship. What is important is that you’re aware and understand each other’s difference ;respect them.

Out Of Love, I Shot A Wedding For Free. You don’t have to make money from everything. Somethings you just have to do out of love.

I can’t say I’ve kept count of the good deeds I extend to people because then, they won’t count as worthy . Something good/ voluntary/ charitable is one that is only remembered for the after effects of your actions otherwise your efforts will be counted in vain.

Most of my Saturdays were messed by the ICT lectures we had every morning since there was a mess in our First year, first semester timetable that we had to sacrifice 4hours to cover up for what we’d missed.

This particular Saturday, in November last year (2019) oh well don’t trace my introduction I still have this in memory. I’ll get on it.
I had prepared to attend a one ministry outing/ get together as it is one of the norms at my church. A few contributions were made but volunteered to do Photography since I’m good at it.

Since I was residing in one of the University’s hall, I prepared to arrive in time before everyone else since I’d have to take a few pictures before our departure. Every photographer knows the importance of storytelling.

As estimated, I got to church before everyone else could. There was an event going on. The church is usually hired for religious events like wedding, gospel concerts and school gallas.
This was a wedding. I decided to have a glance and fill in the moment as I waited for my colleagues to come.

An old couple, probably one in their 70’s that had come to sanctify their marriage. A definition of true love. I was swayed by the moment as I imagined walking down the aisle some day.

With so much observation, I couldn’t see any cameraman. Not even a videographer capturing these unforgettable moments.

I had a camera with me, without asking an questions, I got my settings right and started shooting the event. I took quite a number of good shoots as I envied the joy and happiness of the two love birds.

I did shoot all the church proceedings and the family pictures. A small photo shoot outside church when the vows were done.

Later on, a gentleman approached me. He was part of the wedding committee and explained to him why the photographers couldn’t make it for the event. The wedding budget cut them short(less funds).

I couldn’t shoot the reception because I had an outing to cover.
But before I left, I had a chance to speak to the couple. I’d see how grateful they were! Tears rolled down the bride’s eyes as she thanked me.
I still remember her words, “Thank you, God sent you to help us keep the best moment of our life.” I vividly remember the nasolabial fold and big grins on the groom’s face.

I felt butterflies in my tummy, seeing such happiness in their faces. I promised to edit their pictures as soon as I got home. I did send them to the couple.

I shoot an event that could have earned some money to keep me going since I was a student. Still, I would have asked for “something small” but I didn’t. I did it out of love.

Not everytime you do something you should be paid. Somethings, you do them out of love. It’s sowing for favour.

With your resources, your availability do something for love.

By:Drusilla Grace.

“MY CHOICES.” My Dad’s Absence Impacted My Choices. How I choose to see over the situation.

I’ve lived with a pain that no one will ever fill, there’s just so much my heart yearns for yet no human being can ever measure up to. This has been a choice!!!

Having had such a history has helped me look at the situations I went through as a choice in regards to how I do life. I’ve heard my friends share stories about their relationships with their fathers and I’m left wondering . Sometimes I’d think to myself whether they are true or some sort of fairytale from a scripted Hollywood Director yet it’s reality.

But heyyy! Today I ain’t revisiting that past, my heart is whole and fresh, my dreams are valid.
The pain made me a better person. I’m not here to be your motivational speaker and twist what fate had in it’s hands.
Without ridiculing the amazing parents who are doing their part in raising their children well, I’ll say the absence of my father made me!

When it got to my senses that I’ll never get another dad, I put my head up high, I was stronger for me knowing that I’ve no one to call “Daddy,” the arms to run to, and also no one spanked me for doing certain things apart from my Uncle who did it once in a blue moon.

I’ve had my boyfriend tell me “I am not saying whatever you went through was deserving, I’m just glad it made you. Who you are now. I sometimes envy you because I had all the privileges you lacked.” These words have made me feel stronger than never.

My little pride wouldn’t let me sink in there but these words got me.

Basically I had no male figure in my life, yes my Uncle was there but only for tuition purposes and someone I’d present at school during “Parent’s Days.”

I’ve had to set my goals straight. I’ve had to stand by my choices . My mother is not a learned woman so she had nothing to do with my ambitions and dreams in my life. Just like any parent will do; providing and protecting me. I’ve heard her pray over me in the late nights, I’ve heard her pray for my future husband, for my family and my dreams to come through.

I’ve told my mother all my dreams. My education. My marriage. My being and my future. All she says is I trust you, I want you to prosper and be happy in life.

All that I have achieved, all the mistakes, all the lessons, all the decisions . It is “ME”. I have stood by all the paths I choose on my own. I started working at 16years till todate. I still hustle and find my way out because I had no one doing all that for me. Not my father.

Yes I attended the good schools (In a boarding section). But I had to work hard for my packing/shopping list every term. I’d help out at one of my Uncle’s shops and get to sign for 1000/= at the end of the day. In that way I’d get to save for when the next term opens and keep some pocket money.

My grandmother would ask us to wash her clothes so she’d get to give you some money.
All this, I was learning to work for whatever I want. The more chores you’d get to do, the more money you’d get to save up. I was learning patience, having to collect 200/= till it’d get to amount to buy you a nice skirt. I was learning to be patient with every situation in life.

Unless I was on a drip, I’d never get to back home . So basically headache, stomache, fever were not sickness for me. I rarely showed up at the school clinic for any medication unless they were my Asthma attacks which happened occasionally. I was learning how to fight on, today when I say I’m sick everyone will know because it’ll have to be hard for me to say that “I’m sick.”

I had to choose what combination to do because my learned dad wasn’t there to guide me. I choose the course I wanted to do because I was used to making choices for myself. I was learning how to make “Me” face the consequences of my actions alone and that’s how I live today.

Throughout my life as a journey, I’ve had my mother give a hand and pray over me.
I’ve made my decisions and I’m happy about them. My education, my ambitions, my relationships But mostly my CHOICES.

What am saying is, we all have things that didn’t work out, un ending battles that we somehow can’t do the magic of changing their course but we have the power of “CHOICES” in us . We can all choose to see the negative as positive. We have the choice to look at the ” lacking” as a encouragement to work hard. We can choose to see the loss as a motivation to do more and move .
There’s nothing as powerful as choosing how you look at the situation and moments you’re in.
For this September, let’s focus on our choices. How we want to look at every situation.

I Grieve The Pain Of Lacking A Father. #WinterBloggingChallenge #WinterAbc2020.

As I put this down, I say a silent prayer because my heart still bleeds.
I’m struggling with forgiveness. For someone who passed away, maybe am dreading myself. I didn’t want to revisit these memories but I guess I’ve learned to live with them.

As I grew up, all I had was my motherly family and friends that came in along my path to growth. I got introduced to the pain that has never healed. It has inflicted my soul, the pain of the soul is the pain the body. The pain of being fatherless.

I attended one of the modern schools around town, thank God I am a smart kid, this got me bursaries and won me love from my teachers and coolest kids in class. My parents separated when I was 2yrs (my mum says so); with whichever reasons, I don’t know . I can’t relate to either.

The more I got older, the more I suffered the pain of missing a father. This dreads my being, it created so much pain and callousness towards him; I can’t blame myself. He deserved it.

One time,I happened to be the best performing pupil in my class for two consecutive terms. This drew my head teacher’s attention that he asked to meet my parents. Saddest bit is, I had none to present.
My mum never stayed around town, all I had was my uncle who was also a busy business man. I owe him alot for being a guardian to me.
My headteacher was quite an old man, he must have figured out that something isn’t right after none of my parents showed up. He later became my close friend.

On parents’ day and Visitations, I was the lonely one, with no one asking for my results. I tagged along my friends as they met their parents yet I had none.

When I got to P.6, I moved to a new school which was cheaper because my Uncle who paid my fees was in a financial crisis with a family to take care of. It was a priority matter. I’d do the same. There’s a time I sat home because there was no money to pay for my fees yet I heard about my dad’s well being, the money he had since he was into Produce transportation across borders. He was financially stable and busy changing women (slay queens) like bed sheets yet I was sitted home without fees.

My mother, poor woman. She had nothing just too many responsibilities since I wasn’t the only child. She gave birth to me at a tender age, she hadn’t figured out life yet. She always made sure to provide for whatever little she got, as a model.

With time, things got better but I had so much hate and anger. I made so many vows never to date or get married. I told my mum that I would never get married because of the thoughts and experience I had from lacking a father in my life. I promised to be a single woman till death because of the bitterness towards men because of one spoilt tomato.

At the age of 18yrs, we received a phone call that my daddy needed to see us. Funnly! I hated to hear that it’s now that he wants to see us ( we’re 3 girls). My other sisters were a bit excited about it but I wasn’t ready to even look at him. I didn’t want to revisit the pain of rejection. I had it all clear that I had no father .
One time my dad’s brother showed up at home, I told him ” I only have one family, my mother’s family. I do not know you!”. These were words from a bitter person .

I happened to resemble my dad. I hated whoever said “you resemble your dad”. My uncle spanked me to death for having changed my surname. I just didn’t want anything to do with my father and whatever belonged to him.

We arranged to go see my dad after multiple calls that he was on his death bed and needed to see us. We got there but every glimpse of him, I shade a tear. He’d been admitted for a while that almost all the finances to carter for him were done. They’d started soliciting money for him. I don’t know how he looked at me. I’d see so much pain in his eyes, I’d see regrets.

Unfortunately, the pain I’d built in my heart for 18yrs couldn’t go in one day even though I still had compassion for him being sick. He held my hand and smiled, I felt his breath.
He passed on shortly though ( May His Soul Rest In Peace).

I grieve for growing up without a father to fight for me.
I grieve for the pain and anger my father created by his absence in my life.
I grieve for lacking a father who’d have taught me how to be loved.
I grieve for having grown up fatherless. He was alive but non existing to me.

I grieve for getting to meet my father on his death bed.

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